Child Arrangements After Separation: A Parent’s Guide

When parents separate or divorce, agreeing where the children will live and how much time they spend with each parent is often the most emotionally charged aspect of the process. The law in England and Wales gives courts wide powers to make orders about children’s lives, but strongly encourages parents to reach their own agreement wherever possible.

Parental responsibility

Parental responsibility is the legal right to make decisions about a child’s life — where they go to school, medical treatment, religious upbringing, and travel abroad. Mothers automatically have parental responsibility. Fathers acquire it by being married to the mother at the time of birth, being named on the birth certificate, or obtaining a parental responsibility order or agreement. Both parents retaining parental responsibility does not dictate where the child lives.

Reaching agreement without court

Courts expect parents to try to agree child arrangements themselves, with the help of a mediator if necessary. Family mediation is a confidential process where a neutral third party helps parents reach a workable agreement. Attendance at a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is a legal requirement before applying to court in most cases. Agreements reached through mediation can be made into a Consent Order, giving them legal force.

Child Arrangements Orders

If parents cannot agree, either can apply to the Family Court for a Child Arrangements Order, which sets out where the child lives and when they spend time with each parent. The court will appoint a CAFCASS officer to speak with the child and parents and report on what arrangement would best serve the child’s welfare. Hearings are not adversarial in the traditional sense — the focus throughout is on the child’s best interests.

What does the court consider?

The court applies the welfare checklist from the Children Act 1989: the child’s wishes and feelings (considered in light of their age and understanding), their physical, emotional, and educational needs, the likely effect of any change in circumstances, their age, sex, and background, any harm they have suffered or are at risk of suffering, how capable each parent is of meeting their needs, and the range of powers available to the court.

Domestic abuse and child arrangements

Where there are allegations of domestic abuse — physical, emotional, financial, or coercive control — the court treats this as a serious safeguarding concern. It will consider whether contact with the alleged abuser poses a risk to the child or the other parent, and may order contact to be supervised or in a contact centre. A finding of fact hearing may be held to determine disputed allegations before the main welfare hearing.